sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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