i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
