i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.