Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
