After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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