Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
