can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
