Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
