I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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