I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
