low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
