I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize