Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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