SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
