Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
