I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
