She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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