so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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