im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
