I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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