Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
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If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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