Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Do vagina's smell?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
