69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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