just come out here and I will go home with you...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize