yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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