I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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