He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
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