Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
