They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
