your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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