I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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