so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...