I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style