they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.