Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie