My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
