Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.