I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...