I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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