Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
