God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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