i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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