I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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