he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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