Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
