The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
