you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
