I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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