Rock
Scissors
Fuck
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
