Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
