why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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