I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
