lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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