Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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