No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dignity is for republicans.
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Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
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I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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