Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
