good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
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An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor