Fine. I'll sleep in my office
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.