yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
two words...techno handjob
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i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
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I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.