I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
