did you get engaged???
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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