do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
