dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I looked at my own cervix.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
