is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My feet surprised me
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Panties = found
Randomize
