I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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