she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
