Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
