About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I got inside last night via doggy door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize