I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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