that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
