he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
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i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
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So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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