Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
